Defeating Meeting

My sophomore year of high school I was privileged to be the JV cheerleading captain. At this time sophomores were not allowed to be on Varsity for cheerleading so it was an exciting time to be moving on from the freshman squad and to be captain of my friends and peers at a higher level. 

Becoming captain did not change many aspects of how I treated everyone else or even how we all worked together. The title just put me more as the person to keep everyone on target and to make quick decisions if needed. However, about halfway through football season Taylor (the Co-Captain and one of my best friends) and I decided it would be fun to sneak in our coaches desk and look at the homecoming nomination votes for the senior cheerleaders. At the time it did not seem like a big deal, because we had looked in our coaches desk many times before, but of course this time was a little bit different and we ended up getting in trouble with not only our coaches but with the school principal. Our coaches understood that we were not trying to change any of the votes or do anything bad, we were just being dumb as usual. However, because one of the other cheerleaders saw us and told her mom, action had to be taken. 

Both Taylor and I had to have individual meetings with the coaches and tell our sides of the story. It was difficult telling the different actions we had made knowing that they were not what our coaches wanted to hear. When it was all said and done all the two of them could say was that they were sorry that they had to do this but they had to remove us both from captain. Mortification was plastered all over our faces. Yes we got in trouble, but the subject that made it necessary for us to hide our heads was that we caused enough trouble to be downgraded. That was the first time in my two years of knowing Taylor that I saw her shed a tear.

The next step of the process was the most difficult to gulp down. Telling our teammates the consequences was terrifying. I had to look my best friends in the face, the girls who had believed in me so much that they lifted me above themselves, and tell them that I had let them down. I could hardly spit the words out, but I knew it would better for me to tell them than my coach. 

Looking back it is such a dumb occurrence all together but I will never forget the pit in my stomach throughout this time. It has challenged me to question my decisions before I make them rather than act on a whim. 

My Best Friend

When I was in second grade Mrs. Karen Powers became my Sunday school teacher at church. I did not know at the time, but this is probably one of the best things that could have ever happened in my life. Not only did Mrs. Karen, become apart of my class, but because they just moved to town,  her white-haired, freckled face daughter Cassie joined the second grade class as well. 

We must have been polar opposites because in no time at all we were inseparable. I can honestly say that I cannot remember a summer from that point until 8th grade that we did not spend almost every day together. It did not matter that we went to different schools and lived in different school districts, that just made it more fun to have a friend that no one else knew; It made it special. 

Like every other middle-schooler we wanted to grow up, so when high school started both of us were really excited about the new changes that were coming our way. I do not think either of us expected the toll growing up would bring on our friendship though. It happened so slowly at first that it was not even noticeable. Freshman year we helped each other through life’s hard struggles of boys and drama. However, Sophomore year I became more involved in my cheerleading and Cassie become involved in playing tennis. More and more we would forget to talk during the week and became satisfied with seeing each other twice a week at church. 

Junior year I finally started dating a guy that I had liked for forever and that is when the real distance began to form. Cassie and I had times where it had been bad, but we always seemed to get out of it. When I got a boyfriend though, he became my best friend and although Cassie and I still talked it wasn’t as frequent as it should have been. I remember it got to the point where Cassie straight up told me that she did not want to be my friend anymore because she knew that Russell was my best friend and what was the point being friends anymore if neither of us was trying. Of course we worked through it and whenever Cassie got a boyfriend several months later, she came to me admitting that she understood now and was sorry for being so harsh on me before. 

All through Senior year our relationship had its ups and downs. We had learned to accept that seeing and talking to each other all the time just was not a priority in either of our lives. It was not until summer before we left for college that we realized that boys are no boys we needed each other. We began to talk and hang out more frequently again. We finally shared life with each other that had been happening the past several years. It was seriously some of the happiest conversations I have had in my life, however they were so sad too. We had been missing out on each other for far too long. We had let high school conquer and separate us instead of conquering it and showing it who is boss. 

College has brought us together in so many ways even though we are farther apart than we ever have been before. I can honestly say that the same short bleach, blonde hair, freckled face girl that is now a super tall and thin and beautiful woman is still my best friend. We have grown apart and together a lot throughout the years but overall we have decided to live life together and be their for each other every step of the way. 

My first real moment of embarrassment

There are always those get-to-know-you games that bosses, camp counselors, or teachers make you play whenever they want the people they are working with to get to know everyone else. Someone that one question always come up, “What is your most embarrassing moment?” Every time this one question comes up I can only stare blankly and slightly smile at the person or persons I am talking to and nicely tell them that I really do not have a moment that I find most embarrassing in my life. Nothing had ever really happened to me that was truly mortifying before this year, my freshman year of college. It is comical, because not only is it a recent occurrence, but a lot of people do not find it as embarrassing as I do. 

All of my friends and I had decided to meet in the lobby so we could all walk to honors’ banquet together. All of us were dressed nicely and were looking pretty spiffy if I do say so myself. We decided that we had everyone and started out the door to enjoy a delicious meal and hear a profound speaker. With laughter in the air we began our decent down the stairs and this is where the problem began. 

I still do not know quite what happened but one motion led to the next and as far as I could tell I was crumbling down the stairs. With each new slip I forced myself upright and tried to regain my balance but it was just no good.  I slid down 10 steps and ended up ripping my new dress. Of course, to make matters worse, this also happened to be the one time of day in which peering eyes seemed to be seeping out of the bushes. I could not feel the pain of my scrapes or even the real embarrassment that I would feel mere minutes later, all I knew what that I had to get out of there and get redressed for the banquet. 

I quickly scampered up the steps and back to my room to make the quickest change I think I have ever made in my entire life. The only thought that consumed me during this time and the rest of the night was how? How did that happen? It may sound dumb to most people, but the part that frustrated me the most was not that I simply fell but that I fell walking in heels. I had never fallen in heels. For some reason I did not mind being the girl who lost her step on the stairs, but I could not fathom being the girl who could not walk in heels. I never realized how much pride I had taken in being a girl who could walk well in heels, but from my thought process I could now tell that it was important to me. 

No one made fun of me or gave me a hard time. Honestly, everyone just felt bad for me. It was a pathetic occurrence, but at least now I have a most embarrassing moment right?

A room no more

Just last summer, my parents decided to finally fulfill their dreams and build the house of their imagination that they had been planning for over ten years. Of course, I was excited about the process because not only would I be getting in a new, beautiful home, but I would not even be living at home during the majority of the construction. It seemed like a win-win situation to me.

The unusual part about our rebuild was that my parents decided they wanted to live in the same place, just a different house. To begin the progress on the house though, we had to knock down every nut and bolt of our old, faithful house. The deconstruction of my beloved home was piece by piece but when the giant machine of destruction finally got to the end of the house, got to my room, it was difficult to imagine never setting foot in that space again. 

I had lived 17 years of my life in that small room. The same room that had a light pink stripe going all the way around and had a shelf of dolls by the ceiling. The same room that shared a bathroom, and usually a locked door, with my older sister. The room that Little Mermaid tents were built in and forts made of blankets were designed and brought to life. The same room I had successfully killed multiple fish in and the room that I used to share with my little brother. Looking at the familiar room that I lived life in, I could not help but feel as if I was about to lose part of my childhood, part of my growing up, and inevitably part of me. 

It was and still is surreal to me knowing that I will come back to my new house time and time again and not feel the same connection and homeyness that I once did in the place that built me. My house left when I left for college, the only difference is I will be returning and it will not. 

The Blues

Today as we were reading more of Billy Collin’s poetry in class, I came across a poem that I had overlooked before. The poem is called “The Blues,” and I feel it is true in a our society today. 

The poem goes to describe how people my generation do not necessarily like hearing about other peoples’ pains. When it comes to heartache, sickness, and troubles, many would rather just turn the other way and pretend that no such thing exists. 

However, when pain and hurt are turned into music and lyrics people automatically become interested. It is as if adding a guitar to the background of a story can change the meaning altogether. 

This is because everyone relates through music. There is something that speaks to our souls when we hear it. Almost as if each song was written just for us or about our own specific situation. It does not matter what kind of person is singing the song. They could be a huge, muscular man or a petite woman or a skater or any other persona imaginable, but no matter how much they would seem to differ from yourself physically they can and probably are feeling a lot of the same emotions that you are as well. 

Reading this poem, all the lines that Collins wrote are so obvious and simply, but it is something that is not always spelled out. Collin’s definitely has found a way to connect with people through poetry in an uncomplicated way. 

Milk-Tea

Last Friday I picked Zhiqi up outside of the front of the BLUU after my class let out at 2 PM. We had not been able to see each other for a long time, but last time we met she talked about wanting to treat me to milk-tea. We drove over to New Asia, an asian restaurant off Berry St, and sat down and ordered. It was a small place but it was clean and the lady at the counter was welcoming. 

The milk-tea came and even though the name pretty much tells what it is I honestly did not believe that I would be receiving milk mixed with tea, but that is what was put on the table in front of me. It was not bad though. It was just different and it made me like tea a little more since I do not like tea by itself at all. The thing that is strange about the milk-tea though is there are these dumpling balls at the bottom of it. They do not have any taste, but they are chewy and slimy in a way that my mouth did not agree with. I tried to keep my straw from going down to the bottom of the glass in order to avoid sipping up many of these unfamiliar spheres. 

We talked more about Spring Break and how she went to Canada. She said that she could never live in weather that cold, but as we continued talking about the remaining years of college she said she may transfer to Syracuse for college. I just laughed and informed her that it may not be the right place weather-wise, because it has been named “worst weather” in the United States, with many ice and snow storms. That freaked her out to a certain degree but I reassured her that it was a great school and if she attended there she would definitely be equipped with the right wardrobe to keep her warm.

We talked some of summer and how it is going to be so weird leaving TCU for three months. We both have created families and a home here and not having that for an extended period of time is going to be strange. However, neither of us complained about actual summer vacation or having no homework. It will just be a big change in atmosphere. 

The Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber

It is obvious from the beginning that Mr. and Mrs. Macomber are having problems with their relationship, but I never expected her to end up killing him. It is hard to tell if it was an accident or if she did it for the sole hatred of her husband. She is obviously torn up about it because Hemingway mentions that she is crying over him. However, Wilson makes much fun about the whole incident. He teases her as if it were a funny joke.
Something I did not understand about this story though, is why it was such a big deal that her husband was a coward against a lion. I understand that times were different then. Women expected certain things of their husbands and the same goes from husbands to their wives. I can even understand Mrs. Macomber to be upset that her husband was a coward in general life, but when facing a lion I feel as if it is perfectly fine to be a coward. It is a lion after all. Lions are huge and violent creatures.
My only thought is that maybe him being so afraid of the lion to the point of running away was the last straw for her. There are hints of previous unhappiness and troubles in their relationship so it is possible that this last act just sent her over the edge.
It was also very interesting that Macomber immediately knew that his wife had slept with Wilson when she came into the tent late. The way they spoke about how they had agreed that she would not do that this time proved that she had cheated on him several times before. Even Wilson picks up on the fact that this cannot be the first time that this has happened.
It is painfully obvious that this couple should not have been together. Neither party was happy, but both of them gained from being with the other. She gained money and he had a beautiful wife. It is sad that many relationships go back to this. That the only thing keeping people around are how they can use one another.
This story was interesting, but I honestly did not like it. It just left me getting angry at the different characters. It does show a pattern that our world tends to have however and I feel like Hemingway likes to add real world concepts into his writing.

Earthling

I found this poem interesting because of the unimportance that Billy Collins finds with his weight and his physical appearance.
In today's society, many people, including myself, are concerned about their weight and the idea of being fit. People obsess everyday about how they look and if the number on their scale is fluctuating or staying constant.
He shows society's obsession by saying how "the fat ones linger on the Mars scale and the emaciated slow up the line for Neptune". People find such interest in being different than they really are. If we were all only skinnier, more muscular, prettier, smarter, or had more money. The world would be "happier" if everyone had just more stuff or if we could just change one aspect of our lives. However, Collins speaks of how he has contentment with his own life. He recognizes that although on different planets we would all be different weights and possibly different personalities, living on Earth and being who he is on Earth is exactly how life is supposed to be and he is going to enjoy that. He is going to enjoy the life he has and all the aspects of life that people normally look over but are not found on any other planet, such as the distance from the sun and the presence of water.
If the Earth was any further away from the sun, planet earth as we know would freeze over. However, on the other hand, if the sun was any closer to Earth the planet would burn up. Everyday we take advantage of this fact. Also, the presence of water is perfect for supporting wildlife and human life here on Earth and we rarely consider this on a daily basis.
People often wish their lives were different than they are but do not take the time to appreciate what is around them.

Cross Country Snow

While reading this short story all I could think about is how I, and many students feel, when a school break is ending. Most of the times we have just encountered an amazing experience and at the end of the week we do not want to go back to school and continue classes but we know we have to. We wish that we could just continue on with no worries and no obligations for just a little longer so that we could satisfy ourselves, but would we ever really be satisfied?
Nick and George have just experienced an amazing trip doing something that they love, skiing. Right before their last run they discuss the realities that they are going to have to face after they return home from their vacation. George has to return to school and Nick has a baby on the way. They so badly want to go off and ski for the rest of their lives and not deal with their current situations but both know that is not even an option. They have prior commitments and responsibilities to attend to.
I know that just coming back from Spring Break was a lot like this for me. I enjoyed a break full of sunbathing at the beach, sleeping in late, and going on leisurely walks. I missed my friends from school enough that I wanted to come back to Fort Worth, but actually going back to the school part was something I was dreading. Normally the side effects of break are not as severe on me, but after tasting that little bit of summer and relaxation the last thing I wanted to do was come back to school where I have to sit through classes, go to meetings, and do homework that I do not want to do. However, you have to do what you have to do. This is exactly what Nick and George do. They dream of better things, talk about the realities, and then continue on because they know that is the only option.
I think Hemingway is saying that it is okay to dream, and it is okay to want something different for your life, but when it comes down to it your life is waiting for you and you cannot just leave it. The responsible thing to do is make the most of it and continue living actively in it.

Blast from the Past

I decided to look at an October 25, 1937 issue of Life magazine. While glancing through the pages, deciding on what to write my response about, an article about miners on strike caught my eye. The title of the article read, “Life on the American Newsfront: Miners Stage a “Stay-down” 1,250 ft. Underground”. This touched my interest because of the recent incident in which 33 Chilean miners were trapped inside their mine for more than two months. 

In this article, the miners at Coaldale in eastern Pensylvania decided to go on strike to receive more pay for opening a new, deeper level of their mine. The thought that really blew my mind was that these miners, chose to stay down their. They put themselves and potentially their families at risk by protesting in this mine. Knowing the devastation that has occurred to others because of being stuck in a mind, I think every person today would say that striking outside of the mine by simply not going down or working would be a lot safer and smarter of an option.  However, these 43 miners decided to stay down in their mine playing a game called Pinochle for seven days. The miners refused to come out of the ground until Governor George Earle flew into Coaldale and went down into the mine to negotiate with the miners. After three days of negotiation and persuasion the miners finally agreed to come out of the mine. 

Although this method was an extreme way to get their pay raised, it worked as they had planned. The only question that goes through my mind is, would it have been worth it if circumstances took a turn for the worst? As society today knows, mines are dangerous and the mine they were in could have easily tumble and caved in at any moment while they were down there. Was the want of a higher pay worth the miner’s possible death? For me today I would say no, but in the 30’s these miners may have felt that their pride and good treatment were worth it.

This is hard for me to understand, because for the most part people have good and fair working conditions today. Earlier in America’s history, however, this was not the case. Strikes were frequent, because people began to realize that the work they were doing was not worth the cost of being wronged. I cannot imagine how it is for people in other countries who have bad working habitats or for the people that had to go through this in America’s past. Thank goodness times have gotten better. 

FroYo and Baseball

Yesterday Zhiqi and I met and went to Yo! to eat frozen yogurt. Both of us were excited for this small event, because of our shared enthusiasm for ice cream and, basically, anything sweet. 

On the walk over, she pulled a paper bag with my name etched on it from her purse and announced that she had gotten something for me in her recent trip to New York. I had no idea, she had even gone, but she explained that she had gotten my New York key chain this last weekend when she was there getting her Visa to go to Canada for spring break. I have been amazed at the amount of traveling that she has done since she has been here. 

Over Christmas break, she went to the Grand Canyon; her and some friends are going to Canada for spring break; she went to New York for the weekend; and this summer she is going to Cancun. I had to tell her that I am quite jealous of her quick trips, but that it must be so exciting to see so much of a big country in so little time, knowing that she will only see more in the several years to come. 

This time we met, we spoke mostly of our upcoming spring break trips and how it was funny that we were going to two completely different climates. Zhiqi is preparing herself for temperatures of 50 below and hoping that her clothes will keep her warm enough, while I am going through my swimsuits and tank tops looking for clothes to keep me cool in the Texas heat of the Port Aransas beaches. 

After our frozen yogurt experience, I told her that I was going to the TCU baseball game with my friends and she was welcome to come, but not to feel pressured to come if she did not want to. She responded that she might as well get the experience now rather than later. I had my friends save us seats and when we get there we had some minutes to spare. We filled it with talking about sports from China and eating peanuts. She said that table tennis and swimming were really big there, but that she was not really great at any of them. I reassured her that was fine, because I am really not good in any sports and we just laughed at how un-athletic we are. 

It was fun and exciting just to have Zhiqi around. She was excited about every play in TCU’s favor, and would jump up, scream, and clap. I was nervous about bringing her, but I am so glad that I did. 

Next week she is treating me to Chinese food. I can’t wait. 

Modern Art Museum

On my way to the Modern Art Museum I honestly had no idea what to expect. I think I went to a modern art museum when I went to Spain sophomore year, but I honestly do not remember the types of sculptures and paintings that were present. I was pleasantly surprised at what I found in the Fort Worth museum though. 

It was almost too quiet in the building for as large as it was but as I ventured further into the museum’s depths the silence grew on me, as well as the strange paintings and sculptures that surrounded me. I was expecting for some of the so called “art” to not fancy my interest and some did indeed prove to be a bore. By others though I was truly fascinated. I found myself wanting some of the designs and pictures for my future home.

One painting that stood out in particular to me is a painting called “Jar of Olives Falling,” by Edward Ruscha. This painting is a simple one. The background is a golden color that   fades into lighter shades as it goes to the bottom. In the upper, right-hand side, there is a jar of olives that is depicted as falling by having bits of olive juice and individual olives coming out of the jar. At the time, I could not realize why this painting was so intriguing to me, but as I have thought about it more after my visit I realize I like it because of how simple and clean it is.

Another piece of work that blew my mind was a series of guns that were morphed to form optical illusions. Each gun was flattened, stretched, or pinched into a form that made them look like they were pointing a certain way in which it could have been pointing at you or at another object. As I walked closer to the different pieces, some of the guns were literally flattened, the wood and all. The optical illusion of the guns actual began to hurt my head and I had to go into the next room, but it literally blew my mind away. 

The way the water came right up to the building and the view of the metal trees fighting was intriguing. Every time I turned the corner and saw the view, it was so cool to see the water hugging the side of the building. It was, to say the least, modern. 

Some pieces that I was not impressed with was the different colored Standard gas station paintings. I did not see the point to them. They all had a different variation of color and some had another object added to it as well, including an additional sign, an olive, and a ripped magazine. 

Something that actually frustrated me about the modern art museum were the paintings that I could have painted when I was five. What I mean by that is the paintings that are just colored boxes or smudges of colors that are not patterned in any artistic ways. These paintings were not unique or intriguing to me, but were upsetting because I felt like if I was born in the right time period I could have painted them and gotten money for them. 

Overall, I had a good experience with the modern art museum. It was interesting to see and I felt really peaceful during and after my visit. I would definitely go and visit again. 

Meeting: Part 2

This time Zhiqi and I went to the BLUU together. It was interesting to see the differences. I got one plate with my meal on it, and ate the whole thing. She got two or three plates from the get go and only ate part of her meal. It’s not a huge difference or detail, but it reminded me of the different cultures that we both come from. 

This encounter was a little more awkward from the first just because we did no have introductions or anything to really talk about but the conversation traded with the chewing of meals pretty evenly. 

We sat at the end of one of the long tables right across from the football players, which I did not think would be different than sitting any other place, but it proved to be entertaining. The two of us were sitting there talking when we here the big boys beside us start yelling and then one raced over to our table smacked it and stated, “See I can win.” I am not certain what this statement or “race” was supposed to signify, but it proved to lighten the mood. As dinner went on the football guys started dancing to the karaoke playing in the background and Zhiqi commented on her wonderings of why African Americans are almost always prone to dance well. It beat me, but we both decided that it was impressive. 

We both spoke of the snow days and how the night it snowed we went and played in it at 2 AM, but then we also spoke of how the other days we tried to stay indoors as much as possible. It was a sort of in between being friends and being acquaintances conversation, but it was still pleasant. Hopefully the next one will be better.

My first meeting with Zhiqi

This is a little late but I met with my exchange student, Zhiqi, last week. She is a freshman from China and she is one of the sweetest people I have ever met. 

We decided to meet at the TCU Barnes & Nobel and get a drink at Starbucks to meet each other for the first time. As the meeting time approached I got in line to order thinking that Zhiqi would join me soon. I received my drink and 5 minutes went by, and she still had not shown up. 10 minutes, 15 minutes, 20. Nothing had occurred. I looked around, searching for a girl that might be my exchange student, realizing that I really had no way of recognizing her. 

I emailed her on my phone saying that I did not see her in the Barnes & Nobel, and that maybe we had a miscommunication. As I was walking out to go back to my dorm, I got an email from her saying that she was sorry and was on her way. 

I walked back into the Barnes & Nobel and shortly after a petite girl came in rushed. I recognized that this must be my student immediately. 

Quickly after introductions, Zhiqi apologized over and over again. She was not feeling that day and overslept and felt terribly about it. She kept insisting that she buy me a drink or something to make up for it but I told her that was completely unnecessary. We sat down and began to question each other. 

She talked of how China was so much different from here. She kept mentioning how peaceful and easy going everything and everyone in Texas was. Everyone is China was always so busy and she truly appreciated the way people took time to appreciate the little things in their day. It was so interesting to hear, because so often it is said that our society is becoming too impersonal and speeding through life. 

We began to talk about our families and Zhiqi spoke of how her Dad was always away in different parts of China on business, and that she rarely ever saw him. I showed her a picture of my 6 person family on Facebook and told her about how my parents are retired and are currently working together on reconstructing our house. The one comment she made was how my parents really must love each other to work together day-in and day-out on such a project. I had never thought of the project as a portrait of their relationship and commitment but when discussing it with her it completely made sense. 

She began to confess that for the last month or so she had been amazed by the concept of love in America. She was amazed at the relationships between married couples and that it was amazing that they truly loved each other. That really threw me for a loop, when all I hear about relationships in the media is how a huge percentage of marriages are ending in divorce. I never realized that her parents might not love each other the same way that my parents did. It was beautiful to see the smile on her face when she talked of one day falling in love and being happy with someone. I have never had to consider marriage as anything else except love, but many countries, including China, can simply view marriage as business. 

I am excited to see how the rest of our meetings go. I can already tell that she is going to make me realize the blessings I have here, not because she does not have them there in China, but because she recognizes them more.